Monday, January 12, 2015

Financial Sarcasm Roundup for 01/12/15

I'm devoting this week's Financial Sarcasm Roundup to a rant against some of the idiots populating the San Francisco investor relations audience.  I attend a ton of investor relations events and most of them do a good job presenting companies that want attention.  The people who attend these things are sometimes a problem.  They are supposed to be finance professionals.  A minority of them don't belong in finance.

Some kind of rivalry developed between two different local investor relations promoters.  They both claimed credit for a specific entrepreneurial idea.  It evolved into proxy shouting matches that played out through private channels and public events.  I asked representatives of each party about a year ago if they had documentation of whatever it was they accused each other of doing.  Neither faction bothered to send me any hard proof.  I now have a low opinion of both parties, especially since they started using my name in vain when I asked for factual answers.  They can all go to Hades.  I'm unwelcome at their events due to my honesty.  I love it when corrupt people tell me I'm banned from something.  It means I did something right.

I still witness some real losers in attendance at the reputable investor relations meetings I attend.  One lady I met today thought it was okay to take cloth napkins from a high-end restaurant, right in front of the assigned server.  I raised my voice in objection, loud enough for the server to hear me.  This woman's "sweet grandma" act doesn't fool me at all if she thinks petty unethical behavior is okay.  She has never given me a business card or a straight answer about her alleged career as a stockbroker.  I guess she's just a former brokerage secretary who finagles invitations to business lunches because she gets a kick out of mooching free meals.  Get lost, bee-yatch.

Another woman today demanded to know when I would publish my opinion of whatever company I happened to be studying.  I told her she should read my blog to find out.  She then asked me if she could call me to find out my opinion.  I guess she went deaf when I told her the first time to read my blog.  Hey dingbat, I'm not giving one precious second of my time to someone who demands special attention from me with zero chance of compensation.  I had enough of that abuse when I was a financial adviser from 2005-2006 and I don't put up with it anymore.  She can bat her eyelashes all she wants, because I don't let users into my life.  I'm glad she wasted a business card on me, which is one less card she'll have to give to another sucker.  It's in the recycling pile now.  Take that, loser woman.

Today's luncheon was not a complete waste.  I got some good insights into a pharmaceutical company that warrants further research.  I also got to fantasize about the hot cougar-type woman who presented the company.  Her fit figure was quite captivating.  I visually compared her Italian body to the Persian babe at my table, another athletic cougar.  I'm in my 40s now so I need to be around age-appropriate cougars.  I should have invited them both back to my place where they could give me some additional business insights into what was under their clothes.

Attending events with other humans is sometimes a necessary evil.  I get ideas for my commentaries from tons of public sources.  The fools and liars who attend the same public events are often obstacles to my success.  I cannot suffer fools.  The cougars are welcome to admire my extreme genius and manliness as long as they don't get in the way of my analysis.