Monday, April 14, 2014

Financial Sarcasm Roundup for 04/14/14

I am seriously pressed for time this week.  Someday you'll find out why but I don't care to disclose it today.  Suffice it to say that I'm doing something very important in the short term.  I can still make a minimally sarcastic effort.

Japan hints that Europe should follow its example in fighting deflation.  I say Japan is nuts for saying this and Europe is nuts for taking it seriously.  Deflation isn't so bad if it forces indebted businesses into bankruptcy so more efficient businesses can take charge.  The generation that comes of age in a hyperinflationary Japan or Europe will never forgive the modern leaders who destroyed their national currencies.

American shareholders are demanding that their companies acquire for growth.  They do this because they are stupid.  They should instead ask for huge special dividends to get that cash back.  The few hundred corporate CFOs in the country who sit on trillions of dollars of uncommitted cash know how insanely high any NPV would have to be in these pumped markets to justify any acquisitions.

I've read a bunch of brief news items lately about what nouveau riche twentysomethings want from a financial adviser.  It's all really impressionistic and contradictory stuff, but the general sense is that today's young rich enjoy throwing money away and want advisers to praise them for throwing even more away.  The cleverest and most dishonest advisers will step up and take as much as they can in fees while praising these young idiots for their nonexistent brilliance.  I will enjoy watching these preppies and their advisers starve in the gutter.

The most sarcastic thing I can say today is that people in Japan, Europe, and America are all getting a lot dumber about money.  I am living on the wrong planet, or the wrong time period on the right planet.