Monday, February 11, 2013

Financial Sarcasm Roundup for 02/11/13

The funny stuff crosses my desktop like prune juice through a senior citizen - fast, furious, and sometimes messy.  I deal with it.  You can too.

The top baloney item of the day is from the EU's Ollie Rehn, who wants France and Germany to make nice and get behind a stronger pro-euro stance.  That's a thinly veiled threat to France and I'll bet Mr. Hollande doesn't listen.  It may also have been a mild threat to Japan but Tokyo is determined not to listen.  Japan has launched a currency war and pretty soon Europe will realize it can't print euros fast enough to win.  Mr. Rehn, read my articles on how a Holy Roman Euro is the only way France, Germany, and Benelux can save themselves from a competitive currency devaluation.

Venezuela is wasting no time firing its own salvos in the widening currency war, devaluing its bolivar by a third against the dollar.  That would be good news if I wanted to go down to Venezuela and pick up some hot chicks because it would be cheaper to wine and dine them.  I have my hands full with hot women here in San Francisco so the Latina honeys can wait.  It's bad news for President Hugo Chavez because he'll have to pay more for whatever imported cancer drugs he's taking.

I did a double take when China announced it had become the world's largest trading nation given their history of questionable economic figures.  The article notes the low value added from China's existing finished goods sectors.  Their strategy of enticing value-added manufacturing to the mainland isn't mature enough to have contributed measurably to this result.  Recall that they've been shutting down rare earth mines and total rare earth metal production has not reached the upper bound of its annual export quota.  Something doesn't smell right here, and I don't mean the won ton soup.

BTW, you don't need me to tell you that the Fed never intended to stop QE if it meets its macroeconomic targets.  If you planned on stocking up on stored food to avoid panicked buying when the dollar collapses, you may be too late.  Food and beverage makers are reducing the quality and volume of items they sell.  Fresh fruits and vegetables are a different story as they can't be reduced in volume, but they may be sporadically unavailable if spiking energy prices make long-haul trucking less viable.  Thanks a lot, Federal Reserve.

My final sarcasm is for a very stupid person who reads what I've published elsewhere on a different topic.  Dude, you're wasting your time by calling me names.  You'd be more productive if you prepare to confess your frauds in court.  I'll see you there.