Showing posts with label genius. Show all posts
Showing posts with label genius. Show all posts
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Christmas Eve 2015 Wish List
The whole world waits for Santa Claus while I count my natural intellectual gifts. I enjoy dispensing grace, like a benevolent monarch blessing worshipful subjects while posing regally upon my resplendent throne. I willingly carry the burden of genius through this season of joy. I am sufficiently joyful for a whole bunch of you readers. Sharing my Christmas wishes multiplies such joy.
My first wish is for Wall Street to quit ripping off investors. This happens in so many guises you'd think it's hard for crooks in suits to think of new scams. Lo and behold, their creativity never ceases. Hedge funds, structured notes, multi-manager funds of funds, late-stage unicorn startup funding, and other such garbage are things the investing public can do without.
Here's another wish: Wall Street needs to quit hiring trust fund kids. It's easy for these lazy creeps to bring in new money because they just whine and cry until their parents cough up dough. The problems come later when they refuse to do work and their less privileged co-workers have to pick up the slack. The whole banking sector would be better off not hiring these mental weaklings in the first place but those new asset referral bonuses are just too good for some managers to pass up.
I wish economic annihilation for all of my enemies and bonanza for myself and my many friends. Haters crawl out from their caves to spew racism at me on Twitter or slander me anonymously online. A whole bunch of English-speaking morons can't handle my genius so of course they compensate by embracing pure evil. True friends are more fun to have around, especially when they swoon after exposure to my overwhelming talent.
Finally, I wish the idiots who take shopping carts out of grocery store parking lots would acquire their own conveyances. I used to think this phenomenon was confined to low-income neighborhoods. Now I see it in well-off San Francisco neighborhoods. A whole bunch of financially secure people think it's okay to drag a grocery store's cart all the way home and not return it. The store then has to send its workers in a truck all over the place to haul these things back. They pass the cost on to you, people, while the staff in the store remain short-handed. If you're too weak to carry more than one bag of food home, then buy your own cart, for crying out loud.
Pass the eggnog and I'll mix it with brandy. I do that all the time during the holidays. I can metabolize booze like you would not believe because I'm the next step in human evolution. Santa can squeeze his fat red behind down someone else's chimney tonight, unless he has a big pile of cash to give me with no strings attached.
My first wish is for Wall Street to quit ripping off investors. This happens in so many guises you'd think it's hard for crooks in suits to think of new scams. Lo and behold, their creativity never ceases. Hedge funds, structured notes, multi-manager funds of funds, late-stage unicorn startup funding, and other such garbage are things the investing public can do without.
Here's another wish: Wall Street needs to quit hiring trust fund kids. It's easy for these lazy creeps to bring in new money because they just whine and cry until their parents cough up dough. The problems come later when they refuse to do work and their less privileged co-workers have to pick up the slack. The whole banking sector would be better off not hiring these mental weaklings in the first place but those new asset referral bonuses are just too good for some managers to pass up.
I wish economic annihilation for all of my enemies and bonanza for myself and my many friends. Haters crawl out from their caves to spew racism at me on Twitter or slander me anonymously online. A whole bunch of English-speaking morons can't handle my genius so of course they compensate by embracing pure evil. True friends are more fun to have around, especially when they swoon after exposure to my overwhelming talent.
Finally, I wish the idiots who take shopping carts out of grocery store parking lots would acquire their own conveyances. I used to think this phenomenon was confined to low-income neighborhoods. Now I see it in well-off San Francisco neighborhoods. A whole bunch of financially secure people think it's okay to drag a grocery store's cart all the way home and not return it. The store then has to send its workers in a truck all over the place to haul these things back. They pass the cost on to you, people, while the staff in the store remain short-handed. If you're too weak to carry more than one bag of food home, then buy your own cart, for crying out loud.
Pass the eggnog and I'll mix it with brandy. I do that all the time during the holidays. I can metabolize booze like you would not believe because I'm the next step in human evolution. Santa can squeeze his fat red behind down someone else's chimney tonight, unless he has a big pile of cash to give me with no strings attached.
Wednesday, December 23, 2015
The Haiku of Finance for 12/23/15
Festivus grievance
Dumb people love lame products
Complaint for Wall Street
Dumb people love lame products
Complaint for Wall Street
Alfidi Capital Airs Grievances For Festivus 2015
Attention Wall Street and the rest of the financial services sector. Today is Festivus and you know what that means. I've got a lot of problems with you people, and you're going to hear about it! You have all disappointed me very much this past year. I was spewing lots of Festivus grievances this morning on my Twitter account and now here comes the main event.
First of all, financial commentators who should know better kept casting the Federal Reserve's prospective interest rate change as something either "hawkish" against inflation or "dovish" for GDP and employment growth. Nobody even bothered to track the shift in the Yellen Fed's thinking as something where any change would lead to a return to normalcy. Wall Street disappoints me when its public mouthpieces can't slice the "layer cake" messaging.
Fund management companies continue to roll out garbage securities products. All of the leveraged and inverse ETFs out there can't possibly outperform the simpler passive ETFs but hardly anyone wants to state the obvious. I'm happy to say it myself. Simple, passive, broad market ETFs are cheap and efficient. Boutique but still passive ETFs for sectors and commodities have their place as hedges. Complex, leveraged, and "active" ETFs are expensive wastes of time.
The sector is still hooked on active management as an excuse to charge an arm and a leg for "outperformance" that never happens. Come on, folks, indexing sounded the death knell for active investment management decades ago but fund managers are still in denial. Robo-advisers are now completing the circle by cutting the costs of personalized risk management down to a few basis points. Financial advisers and their back offices will still be in denial long after AIs have taken their jobs.
Enough with the hedge fund craze already. It was cute to watch math PhDs play with algorithms for a couple of years, but now an entire enabling subculture has grown up around these stupid products. Hedge funds are nothing more than elaborate schemes for transferring wealth from dumb rich people to clever rich people. Cheap capital helps enable this stupidity. Illiquidity in a market crisis will end it.
I would gladly challenge any Wall Street CEO to a Festivus feat of strength because I know I'll win. I train for this stuff day and night. Alfidi Capital exists to shove a shiny Festivus pole right up Wall Street's crawl space.
First of all, financial commentators who should know better kept casting the Federal Reserve's prospective interest rate change as something either "hawkish" against inflation or "dovish" for GDP and employment growth. Nobody even bothered to track the shift in the Yellen Fed's thinking as something where any change would lead to a return to normalcy. Wall Street disappoints me when its public mouthpieces can't slice the "layer cake" messaging.
Fund management companies continue to roll out garbage securities products. All of the leveraged and inverse ETFs out there can't possibly outperform the simpler passive ETFs but hardly anyone wants to state the obvious. I'm happy to say it myself. Simple, passive, broad market ETFs are cheap and efficient. Boutique but still passive ETFs for sectors and commodities have their place as hedges. Complex, leveraged, and "active" ETFs are expensive wastes of time.
The sector is still hooked on active management as an excuse to charge an arm and a leg for "outperformance" that never happens. Come on, folks, indexing sounded the death knell for active investment management decades ago but fund managers are still in denial. Robo-advisers are now completing the circle by cutting the costs of personalized risk management down to a few basis points. Financial advisers and their back offices will still be in denial long after AIs have taken their jobs.
Enough with the hedge fund craze already. It was cute to watch math PhDs play with algorithms for a couple of years, but now an entire enabling subculture has grown up around these stupid products. Hedge funds are nothing more than elaborate schemes for transferring wealth from dumb rich people to clever rich people. Cheap capital helps enable this stupidity. Illiquidity in a market crisis will end it.
I would gladly challenge any Wall Street CEO to a Festivus feat of strength because I know I'll win. I train for this stuff day and night. Alfidi Capital exists to shove a shiny Festivus pole right up Wall Street's crawl space.
Thursday, November 26, 2015
Giving Thanks For Stuff In 2015
Thanksgiving in 2015 means I get to watch the rest of America slack off and indulge. I did some of that too today but my brain is still engaged 100% in the genius of Alfidi Capital. It's about time that I recognized some recent inspirations for my genius and give them thanks.
I'll thank the steady drip of followers who add to my Web brand presence when they republish my content. Smart people know quality when they see it. I just can't help it when the raw genius radiates from my presence. Life is best when we fulfill our destinies.
I might as well thank a couple of recent critics who called me names on social media channels. They kept my Web brand in circulation for a few more media cycles. I really enjoy being the target of ill-informed, ad hominem attacks that feed my ego. The First Amendment gives every American the right to speak their minds. I am thankful that even small-minded people notice what I have to say.
I must especially thank a handful of female friends whose constructive feedback is helping me abandon my previous sexism. Careless word choices do have real negative impacts. I am now much more careful than I was earlier this year when commenting on gender subjects. Women don't need some random loudmouth stereotyping them into irrelevance when they deserve more in life. They do in fact need men as advocates who include them as equals, whether it's at the Thanksgiving dinner table or in the corporate boardroom. I have a lot of advocacy to do with the rest of my life.
In years past I've stated that the world should be thankful for my existence. I still see nothing wrong with that even if the world has no thanks to give me. It is unrealistic to expect much of the planet to think like me. I am still morally obligated to be true to myself. I can thank my favorite philosophers - Stoics like Marcus Aurelius and Seneca, plus Immanuel Kant and his Categorical Imperative - who reminded me how to live when I reviewed their works this year. My life is still my own, but my work should enhance humanity's moral worth.
Finally, I thank the Founders of our country who wrote the US Constitution and its Bill of Rights. The rule of law and the elevation of individual freedom enable me to run Alfidi Capital in a manner of my choosing. I could not have this type of lifestyle in other countries where busybodies, thugs, or authoritarians would silence me for speaking my mind. America is awesome and so am I. Happy Thanksgiving, America.
I'll thank the steady drip of followers who add to my Web brand presence when they republish my content. Smart people know quality when they see it. I just can't help it when the raw genius radiates from my presence. Life is best when we fulfill our destinies.
I might as well thank a couple of recent critics who called me names on social media channels. They kept my Web brand in circulation for a few more media cycles. I really enjoy being the target of ill-informed, ad hominem attacks that feed my ego. The First Amendment gives every American the right to speak their minds. I am thankful that even small-minded people notice what I have to say.
I must especially thank a handful of female friends whose constructive feedback is helping me abandon my previous sexism. Careless word choices do have real negative impacts. I am now much more careful than I was earlier this year when commenting on gender subjects. Women don't need some random loudmouth stereotyping them into irrelevance when they deserve more in life. They do in fact need men as advocates who include them as equals, whether it's at the Thanksgiving dinner table or in the corporate boardroom. I have a lot of advocacy to do with the rest of my life.
In years past I've stated that the world should be thankful for my existence. I still see nothing wrong with that even if the world has no thanks to give me. It is unrealistic to expect much of the planet to think like me. I am still morally obligated to be true to myself. I can thank my favorite philosophers - Stoics like Marcus Aurelius and Seneca, plus Immanuel Kant and his Categorical Imperative - who reminded me how to live when I reviewed their works this year. My life is still my own, but my work should enhance humanity's moral worth.
Finally, I thank the Founders of our country who wrote the US Constitution and its Bill of Rights. The rule of law and the elevation of individual freedom enable me to run Alfidi Capital in a manner of my choosing. I could not have this type of lifestyle in other countries where busybodies, thugs, or authoritarians would silence me for speaking my mind. America is awesome and so am I. Happy Thanksgiving, America.
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
The Haiku of Finance for 11/25/15
Grateful time of year
Spewing financial genius
Planet should thank me
Spewing financial genius
Planet should thank me
Friday, November 13, 2015
Adjusting My Voice On LinkedIn, Without Sarcasm
Sarcasm has long been one of my favorite accents. It can be appropriate in sparing amounts. It can also be too much of a good thing. Branding myself as all sarcastic, all the time, in front of all audiences has outlived its usefulness. Observing my personal brand through someone else's eyes made me realize it needs some polish.
I made some significant wording changes to my LinkedIn profile. I removed all of the sarcastic references to my former employers in finance and my alumni associations. I re-worded those experiences to describe my roles there in a more balanced way. I cannot be angry forever. Permanent anger is not a healthy way to see the world or approach people. It no longer matters whether privileged people treated me poorly. Bad people will always exist and they do not belong in my life. The bitterness I reserved for them on my LinkedIn profile allowed them to remain as burdens in my life. It is time to move on to greener pastures.
Readers will still see my Financial Sarcasm Roundups every week or so on this blog. I can still reserve my sharpest barbs for news makers whose affronts are too egregious for polite commentary. It is a weapon I should use sparingly rather than habitually. Maybe someone important will surprise me by making a smart decision for a change.
Public image is a component of leadership. Consider two different US Army generals in World War II: Joseph Stilwell and Dwight Eisenhower. Gen Stilwell's nickname was "Vinegar Joe" due to his penchant for sarcastic, prejudiced comments. Historians regarded him as marginally successful leading the China Burma India Theater, but he could have accomplished much more if he had gotten along with others. Gen. Eisenhower spent years cultivating an optimistic, confident outlook. His personal skills paid off in building the multinational coalition that liberated Europe. Gen. Stilwell is mostly a historical footnote today. Gen. Eisenhower's victories live forever in glory. How they viewed themselves and the world determined how they led their people.
One of the Internet memes going around is built on Ayesha A. Siddiqi's great Twitter quote, "Be the person you needed when you were younger." A growing child doesn't need a steady diet of vinegar. Optimism and confidence are much healthier.
I made some significant wording changes to my LinkedIn profile. I removed all of the sarcastic references to my former employers in finance and my alumni associations. I re-worded those experiences to describe my roles there in a more balanced way. I cannot be angry forever. Permanent anger is not a healthy way to see the world or approach people. It no longer matters whether privileged people treated me poorly. Bad people will always exist and they do not belong in my life. The bitterness I reserved for them on my LinkedIn profile allowed them to remain as burdens in my life. It is time to move on to greener pastures.
Readers will still see my Financial Sarcasm Roundups every week or so on this blog. I can still reserve my sharpest barbs for news makers whose affronts are too egregious for polite commentary. It is a weapon I should use sparingly rather than habitually. Maybe someone important will surprise me by making a smart decision for a change.
Public image is a component of leadership. Consider two different US Army generals in World War II: Joseph Stilwell and Dwight Eisenhower. Gen Stilwell's nickname was "Vinegar Joe" due to his penchant for sarcastic, prejudiced comments. Historians regarded him as marginally successful leading the China Burma India Theater, but he could have accomplished much more if he had gotten along with others. Gen. Eisenhower spent years cultivating an optimistic, confident outlook. His personal skills paid off in building the multinational coalition that liberated Europe. Gen. Stilwell is mostly a historical footnote today. Gen. Eisenhower's victories live forever in glory. How they viewed themselves and the world determined how they led their people.
One of the Internet memes going around is built on Ayesha A. Siddiqi's great Twitter quote, "Be the person you needed when you were younger." A growing child doesn't need a steady diet of vinegar. Optimism and confidence are much healthier.
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Friday, July 10, 2015
Van Halen And Genius In The Music Business
I went to a Van Halen concert for the first time in my life last night when they played the Concord Pavilion on their Tokyo Dome Live in Concert 2015 tour. They put on a loud, tight show with plenty of flair from all of the players. I got to relive the 1980s because most of the setlist for this tour was from their earlier albums. Everyone should have careers they enjoy, and if you follow your bliss then financial rewards will follow you. Concert fun and business success often go hand in hand.
Ignore all of the sniping from this 2015 tour's critics. There were no rough lead vocals or pre-recorded backing vocals. Diamond Dave stretched a bit for the high notes he can't reach anymore in his older years but his phrasing and timing were clear enough. Wolf was in front of his mic, singing and playing in time, and he flawlessly led off the famous bass chords from "Runnin' With The Devil." Alex's drum solo sounded like Miami Sound Machine gave him some inspiration. Dave does not have the vocal range of Sammy Hagar or even Gary Cherone, but his stage presence is one of the intangibles that make Van Halen special to fans. Dave twirls a mic stand like nobody's business and his dancing punctuates Eddie's guitar licks. These guys put on a professional show.
Some Diamond Dave quotes were instant classics. Asking the audience "How 'bout that women's soccer team?" was the perfect break during his harmonica intro to "Ice Cream Man." I wouldn't have used a Bill Cosby joke, but I'm not Dave. I don't know what "Fifty shades of Dave" means, or whether there's an America Town in China, or whether his description of a long-ago Mexican girlfriend was accurate. Knowing why would take the fun away. Whatever tension exists between Dave and Eddie was not visible at all on stage. Eddie played along with Dave's verbal gags like a classic straight player to an improvisational comic.
Other professionals were obviously hard at work on the business end of this tour. The merchandising tent was full and people lined up to spend $20 or more for a $5 T-shirt. The band's 2012 tour grossed over $54M from ticket sales but I couldn't find a figure for merchandise sales. The tour revenue averaged over $1M per show that year. Guitar Player breaks down the album sales from the band's eras under two very different lead singers. Dave sold more records for the band but Sammy's net worth is much higher, probably due to all of his Cabo Wabo business ventures. No one seems to be tracking Gary's earnings from Van Halen III; his only album with the band went gold, the lowest US certification of any album in Van Halen's discography.
The blurry photo above is the band on stage. Trust me, it's them. If the spirit moves you, well, you move. I was moving along to the beat the whole night, raising my fist with the "hey hey hey" chorus of "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" and everything. Other people could have jumped around the aisle during "Dance The Night Away" but the seats on either side of me were empty. I have high standards, and I'm not jumping around a Van Halen concert even though most of the people in attendance did that at some point in their lives. Oh BTW, I only date drug-free intellectual babes.
The first Van Halen item I ever purchased wasn't even their music. I bought a replica of the poster above during junior high school in 1988 because it just looked so freaking cool. I think the poster was designed for their appearance at the 1983 US Festival. I recall seeing a recording of the US Festival once. One thing from the recording still rings clear as a bell in my memory. The chords that became the riff for "Top of the World" on 1991's For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge were audible during the closing chorus for "Dance the Night Away" in that 1983 show. Eddie played those "Top of the World" riffs during the closing of "Jump" in last night's Concord concert. He obviously loves the way it sounds and I wonder if he regrets not performing any songs from the Sammy era live while touring with Dave. I still have that 1983 poster rolled up in my closet. I feel on top of the world whenever I look at it because it's just so darn patriotic. It is still freaking cool after all these years and I'll hang it up when I'm ready.
Van Halen's body of work remains compelling after four decades because its principal artists are true virtuosos. Wolf is still growing musically but he's coming along fine by all indications. He is making his dad very proud. Dave, Alex, and especially Eddie have always been excellent performers. Some people are just gifted, and wasting natural talent is a crime against nature. Whenever something in business bugs me to the point of exasperation, I think about songs like "Dance the Night Away," "Panama," "Jump," "Dreams," and "Top of the World" to remember that chaos gives birth to a dancing star (paraphrasing Friedrich Nietzsche). I am supposed to be a financial virtuoso. Whatever chaos Dave and Eddie use to create their most memorable songs is something I can tap into myself. It is simply impossible to be sad or angry when you're standing on top of the world, dreaming of jumping all the way to Panama so you can dance the night away. Great music makes you want to do just that every time you hear it.
Van Halen takes forever to put out new music now that their founding members are all age 60 or over. I could not shake the suspicion that this tour for their only live album with Dave could be their swan song. I am very grateful to have seen them just this once if this turns out to be the first and last time I can witness their creative genius in person. The mark of genius is to make a difficult task look easy. Dave and Eddie make rock music look so easy that every amateur in the audience imagined themselves in the music right along with them. The gross revenue from my one concert ticket won't make the band much richer but it should be enough for each Van Halen member to buy a sandwich if they're so inclined. Have lunch on me, guys. You earned it.
Ignore all of the sniping from this 2015 tour's critics. There were no rough lead vocals or pre-recorded backing vocals. Diamond Dave stretched a bit for the high notes he can't reach anymore in his older years but his phrasing and timing were clear enough. Wolf was in front of his mic, singing and playing in time, and he flawlessly led off the famous bass chords from "Runnin' With The Devil." Alex's drum solo sounded like Miami Sound Machine gave him some inspiration. Dave does not have the vocal range of Sammy Hagar or even Gary Cherone, but his stage presence is one of the intangibles that make Van Halen special to fans. Dave twirls a mic stand like nobody's business and his dancing punctuates Eddie's guitar licks. These guys put on a professional show.
Some Diamond Dave quotes were instant classics. Asking the audience "How 'bout that women's soccer team?" was the perfect break during his harmonica intro to "Ice Cream Man." I wouldn't have used a Bill Cosby joke, but I'm not Dave. I don't know what "Fifty shades of Dave" means, or whether there's an America Town in China, or whether his description of a long-ago Mexican girlfriend was accurate. Knowing why would take the fun away. Whatever tension exists between Dave and Eddie was not visible at all on stage. Eddie played along with Dave's verbal gags like a classic straight player to an improvisational comic.
Other professionals were obviously hard at work on the business end of this tour. The merchandising tent was full and people lined up to spend $20 or more for a $5 T-shirt. The band's 2012 tour grossed over $54M from ticket sales but I couldn't find a figure for merchandise sales. The tour revenue averaged over $1M per show that year. Guitar Player breaks down the album sales from the band's eras under two very different lead singers. Dave sold more records for the band but Sammy's net worth is much higher, probably due to all of his Cabo Wabo business ventures. No one seems to be tracking Gary's earnings from Van Halen III; his only album with the band went gold, the lowest US certification of any album in Van Halen's discography.
The blurry photo above is the band on stage. Trust me, it's them. If the spirit moves you, well, you move. I was moving along to the beat the whole night, raising my fist with the "hey hey hey" chorus of "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love" and everything. Other people could have jumped around the aisle during "Dance The Night Away" but the seats on either side of me were empty. I have high standards, and I'm not jumping around a Van Halen concert even though most of the people in attendance did that at some point in their lives. Oh BTW, I only date drug-free intellectual babes.
The first Van Halen item I ever purchased wasn't even their music. I bought a replica of the poster above during junior high school in 1988 because it just looked so freaking cool. I think the poster was designed for their appearance at the 1983 US Festival. I recall seeing a recording of the US Festival once. One thing from the recording still rings clear as a bell in my memory. The chords that became the riff for "Top of the World" on 1991's For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge were audible during the closing chorus for "Dance the Night Away" in that 1983 show. Eddie played those "Top of the World" riffs during the closing of "Jump" in last night's Concord concert. He obviously loves the way it sounds and I wonder if he regrets not performing any songs from the Sammy era live while touring with Dave. I still have that 1983 poster rolled up in my closet. I feel on top of the world whenever I look at it because it's just so darn patriotic. It is still freaking cool after all these years and I'll hang it up when I'm ready.
Van Halen's body of work remains compelling after four decades because its principal artists are true virtuosos. Wolf is still growing musically but he's coming along fine by all indications. He is making his dad very proud. Dave, Alex, and especially Eddie have always been excellent performers. Some people are just gifted, and wasting natural talent is a crime against nature. Whenever something in business bugs me to the point of exasperation, I think about songs like "Dance the Night Away," "Panama," "Jump," "Dreams," and "Top of the World" to remember that chaos gives birth to a dancing star (paraphrasing Friedrich Nietzsche). I am supposed to be a financial virtuoso. Whatever chaos Dave and Eddie use to create their most memorable songs is something I can tap into myself. It is simply impossible to be sad or angry when you're standing on top of the world, dreaming of jumping all the way to Panama so you can dance the night away. Great music makes you want to do just that every time you hear it.
Van Halen takes forever to put out new music now that their founding members are all age 60 or over. I could not shake the suspicion that this tour for their only live album with Dave could be their swan song. I am very grateful to have seen them just this once if this turns out to be the first and last time I can witness their creative genius in person. The mark of genius is to make a difficult task look easy. Dave and Eddie make rock music look so easy that every amateur in the audience imagined themselves in the music right along with them. The gross revenue from my one concert ticket won't make the band much richer but it should be enough for each Van Halen member to buy a sandwich if they're so inclined. Have lunch on me, guys. You earned it.
Thursday, July 02, 2015
Random Alfidi Musings for July 2015
Plenty of news items and local events have distracted me from my regular analytical work in recent weeks. I should not allow such things to move me but the black swans flocking out of Greece and other places are a compelling spectacle. Pushing aside the news flotsam leaves deeper currents at work. I need to throw a few thoughts into the pond to see if they float.
Knowledge management practitioners bemoan the lack of metrics in their sector. I have discovered plenty of metrics in human resources and information technology. Those two sectors support the knowledge management capacity of any enterprise. Combing their metrics should reveal some concepts worth formalizing.
Hedge funds that went long on Greek stocks or government bonds are now in regret mode. Betting against them with short positions is not viable so long as the Greek stock market remains closed. The Greek economy's structural problems are unsolvable until a post-euro hyperinflation runs its course. Any Greek-flavored investment strategy is poisonous for years. Bargain purchases of Greek-domiciled shipping stocks may be possible. Those stocks will also be subject to the risk of further crashes in the price of oil and the Baltic Dry Index.
Financialization of everything means pension fund managers and endowment managers have no clue about their real risk exposure. The clever people at major investment banks figured out how to offload their riskiest assets onto the Federal Reserve and the housing GSEs. Repackaging these things for sale means the least clever buyers among institutional investors are stuck with garbage. Money managers sitting on toxic mortgages will have short tenures after the next financial crisis.
My schedule will soon allow for a return to comments on specific companies. The long stretches of haiku in recent weeks were never meant to be the sole content style for Alfidi Capital. Stay tuned to see which retail investors want to badmouth me for criticizing their favorite ideas.
Knowledge management practitioners bemoan the lack of metrics in their sector. I have discovered plenty of metrics in human resources and information technology. Those two sectors support the knowledge management capacity of any enterprise. Combing their metrics should reveal some concepts worth formalizing.
Hedge funds that went long on Greek stocks or government bonds are now in regret mode. Betting against them with short positions is not viable so long as the Greek stock market remains closed. The Greek economy's structural problems are unsolvable until a post-euro hyperinflation runs its course. Any Greek-flavored investment strategy is poisonous for years. Bargain purchases of Greek-domiciled shipping stocks may be possible. Those stocks will also be subject to the risk of further crashes in the price of oil and the Baltic Dry Index.
Financialization of everything means pension fund managers and endowment managers have no clue about their real risk exposure. The clever people at major investment banks figured out how to offload their riskiest assets onto the Federal Reserve and the housing GSEs. Repackaging these things for sale means the least clever buyers among institutional investors are stuck with garbage. Money managers sitting on toxic mortgages will have short tenures after the next financial crisis.
My schedule will soon allow for a return to comments on specific companies. The long stretches of haiku in recent weeks were never meant to be the sole content style for Alfidi Capital. Stay tuned to see which retail investors want to badmouth me for criticizing their favorite ideas.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Alfidi Capital Smack Talk for Thanksgiving 2014
Thanksgiving isn't just about turkey. It's about women going shopping and men being lazy, for most Americans. It's really all about Alfidi Capital laying the smack-down on everything that does not comport with extreme genius.
I give thanks for not living in some smelly dirt-hole country like the ones at the bottom of the Transparency International and Heritage Foundation indexes. Those are the filters I use to sort out the resource sector companies I evaluate, much as a master chef uses a strainer to drain the brine away from a pot of pasta.
I suppose I should be thankful for living in San Francisco but sometimes this town does try my patience. The idiots I see at the Commonwealth Club disprove the common assumption that education enhances intellect. The views of the Pacific Ocean, downtown skyscrapers, and the Golden Gate Bridge make up for the periodic nonsense emanating from over-educated humans.
I am not thankful for activists determined to make all levels of our government less responsive to citizens and more of a burden upon the economy. This goes for both the Left and Right. Busybodies can take their health insurance mandates, sunset-exempt regulations, and faith-based initiatives to one of those loser countries at the bottom of the Transparency International and Heritage Foundation indexes. People who enjoy living in unfree nations are welcome to move away from me. I would be thankful for their absence.
The University of Notre Dame and University of San Francisco do not deserve my thanks. I have degrees from each of those schools and those parchments have never helped me in life. Several fellow alumni have gone out of their way to harm me professionally because I have spoken negatively about the schools in public. I couldn't care less. I remain unscathed. Bring it on, haters. I will outlast all of my detractors.
I continue to thank myself for cutting off relations with people who turned out to be losers. Former acquaintances who revealed themselves as idiots were putting me at risk with their drama. I sometimes see them in public and I have reminded myself to keep them at a distance so I'm not infected by their insanity. Yes, fellow members of the financial services community, I mean you in particular. Craziness is contagious in San Francisco and I don't need to catch it.
You should all be thankful that I am the greatest financial analyst you've ever read. Don't waste your lives trying to outperform me because that's impossible. Spend your time wisely, basking in the glow of my eternal wisdom. Women in particular should be thankful that I am so extremely handsome. They usually find me irresistible but they will have to wait until after Thanksgiving. They can send me hot photos of themselves to tide me over until we meet in person. That would make for a very happy Thanksgiving.
I give thanks for not living in some smelly dirt-hole country like the ones at the bottom of the Transparency International and Heritage Foundation indexes. Those are the filters I use to sort out the resource sector companies I evaluate, much as a master chef uses a strainer to drain the brine away from a pot of pasta.
I suppose I should be thankful for living in San Francisco but sometimes this town does try my patience. The idiots I see at the Commonwealth Club disprove the common assumption that education enhances intellect. The views of the Pacific Ocean, downtown skyscrapers, and the Golden Gate Bridge make up for the periodic nonsense emanating from over-educated humans.
I am not thankful for activists determined to make all levels of our government less responsive to citizens and more of a burden upon the economy. This goes for both the Left and Right. Busybodies can take their health insurance mandates, sunset-exempt regulations, and faith-based initiatives to one of those loser countries at the bottom of the Transparency International and Heritage Foundation indexes. People who enjoy living in unfree nations are welcome to move away from me. I would be thankful for their absence.
The University of Notre Dame and University of San Francisco do not deserve my thanks. I have degrees from each of those schools and those parchments have never helped me in life. Several fellow alumni have gone out of their way to harm me professionally because I have spoken negatively about the schools in public. I couldn't care less. I remain unscathed. Bring it on, haters. I will outlast all of my detractors.
I continue to thank myself for cutting off relations with people who turned out to be losers. Former acquaintances who revealed themselves as idiots were putting me at risk with their drama. I sometimes see them in public and I have reminded myself to keep them at a distance so I'm not infected by their insanity. Yes, fellow members of the financial services community, I mean you in particular. Craziness is contagious in San Francisco and I don't need to catch it.
You should all be thankful that I am the greatest financial analyst you've ever read. Don't waste your lives trying to outperform me because that's impossible. Spend your time wisely, basking in the glow of my eternal wisdom. Women in particular should be thankful that I am so extremely handsome. They usually find me irresistible but they will have to wait until after Thanksgiving. They can send me hot photos of themselves to tide me over until we meet in person. That would make for a very happy Thanksgiving.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
The Haiku of Finance for 08/23/14
Motivating staff
Threaten to terminate them
That will make them work
Threaten to terminate them
That will make them work
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Christmas Wishes and Baloney
There's an old saying that compares the substance of a wish in one hand to something else in the other hand. I'll let that something else be a fistful of baloney because I run a family-rated show at Alfidi Capital. Today is the day that spoiled children all over the Anglo-Saxon world discover whether Santa Claus has granted their Christmas wishes. Actually, since there's no such thing as Santa, it's really the day that grown adults discover how much of their disposable income they must deplete to fool their kids into thinking they're loved. Whatever. Remember kiddies, Santa loves rich kids more. That's why they get more stuff than you.
This blog doesn't grant wishes. I seldom notice the wishes other people leave for me on blog comment lists, message boards, and emails. Most are boring but some are amusing. I'll note them in rare moments like this because I'm a gregarious, giving soul and I acknowledge my inferiors on a holiday dedicated to the spirit of giving. Here are the wishes that numerous mental defectives have for me, along with my decisions to grant them or not.
You wish I would shut up. Not on your lives, losers. I will run my big mouth until the day I die and then I'll be running it from the afterlife.
You wish I would hire you to work for me. No chance. There will never be any position vacancies at Alfidi Capital. I can't stand other human beings stealing credit for my work.
You wish I would get some brains. LOL, I recognize what psychologists call "projection" when I see it. My IQ tested over genius level in my teens and I've grown my intellect since then by leaps and bounds. I already have more than enough brains to out-think all of my detractors combined and still have enough left over to run their lives for them.
You wish I would invest in your half-baked business plan. Nope. I'm very selective about where I commit my time and money. I have a handful of commitments and I will make more at times of my choosing, not yours. Numbskulls like to send me their crayon scribblings and waste my time at event receptions. Get a life, suckers.
You wish I would lay off the pursuit of a local Stolen Valor fraud. NO! I've sent everything I have to the relevant investigators and I'll be in the courtroom watching when one particular phony is indicted for the harm he has done to veterans. His accomplices will be shocked when they also go down hard for aiding his criminality.
You wish I would publish your guest blog article on my own blog. Nuh-uh. My blog is for my voice only. Get your own gall-dang blog.
You can all plainly see just how generous I am with granting wishes. Merry freakin' Christmas, stupid losers. I made my list and checked it twice, but I'm way more accurate than Santa. I celebrate the natural turning of the seasons because I don't need any imaginary supernatural parent granting my requests. I stopped making wishes as a child. I'd rather make plans like an adult and then execute them with full force and enthusiasm.
I would have celebrated today's holiday in one of San Francisco's finer adult establishments but I was too lazy to make the trek up to Columbus and Broadway to see if they were open. Bah, humbug. Plenty of attractive women seek out my company anyway, which is more than I can say for my critics. Their wishes for me are a bunch of baloney.
This blog doesn't grant wishes. I seldom notice the wishes other people leave for me on blog comment lists, message boards, and emails. Most are boring but some are amusing. I'll note them in rare moments like this because I'm a gregarious, giving soul and I acknowledge my inferiors on a holiday dedicated to the spirit of giving. Here are the wishes that numerous mental defectives have for me, along with my decisions to grant them or not.
You wish I would shut up. Not on your lives, losers. I will run my big mouth until the day I die and then I'll be running it from the afterlife.
You wish I would hire you to work for me. No chance. There will never be any position vacancies at Alfidi Capital. I can't stand other human beings stealing credit for my work.
You wish I would get some brains. LOL, I recognize what psychologists call "projection" when I see it. My IQ tested over genius level in my teens and I've grown my intellect since then by leaps and bounds. I already have more than enough brains to out-think all of my detractors combined and still have enough left over to run their lives for them.
You wish I would invest in your half-baked business plan. Nope. I'm very selective about where I commit my time and money. I have a handful of commitments and I will make more at times of my choosing, not yours. Numbskulls like to send me their crayon scribblings and waste my time at event receptions. Get a life, suckers.
You wish I would lay off the pursuit of a local Stolen Valor fraud. NO! I've sent everything I have to the relevant investigators and I'll be in the courtroom watching when one particular phony is indicted for the harm he has done to veterans. His accomplices will be shocked when they also go down hard for aiding his criminality.
You wish I would publish your guest blog article on my own blog. Nuh-uh. My blog is for my voice only. Get your own gall-dang blog.
You can all plainly see just how generous I am with granting wishes. Merry freakin' Christmas, stupid losers. I made my list and checked it twice, but I'm way more accurate than Santa. I celebrate the natural turning of the seasons because I don't need any imaginary supernatural parent granting my requests. I stopped making wishes as a child. I'd rather make plans like an adult and then execute them with full force and enthusiasm.
I would have celebrated today's holiday in one of San Francisco's finer adult establishments but I was too lazy to make the trek up to Columbus and Broadway to see if they were open. Bah, humbug. Plenty of attractive women seek out my company anyway, which is more than I can say for my critics. Their wishes for me are a bunch of baloney.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Outlandish Innovations We All Need Now
I've spent more time down in Silicon Valley in the past few months than in the first 40 years of my life. That place is full of bona fide geniuses churning out untold wonders of technology. I'd like to throw out some sample high-tech ideas that I've been spinning around my noggin' just to see what sticks to the wall.
Solar-powered pants. I watched one guy charge up his smartphone by plugging into an outlet on a Muni train. If he had worn solar-powered pants he could have just plugged it into his . . . well, you get the picture. The size of this market is huge. Dude, everybody wears pants.
Baloney detector. I could have used this one while I was involved with military veterans' groups for a couple of years. It would have to look and work like a Star Trek tricorder so I could detect a range of scams, schemes, lies, and half-truths. It would also need modulation to differentiate between mild shades of embellishment and flat-out fabrications.
X-ray glasses. I'm not talking about the gag version of X-Ray Specs you can buy on eBay for a nickel. I'm talking about the real thing that will allow me to see into women's locker rooms and through the attire of the hot chicks I meet at business conferences. The ideal configuration would be an app that enables Google Glass to assess my momentary dream gal's measurements. Plug this thing into solar-powered pants and I'd be "energized" in more ways than one, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
Pocket Death Star. The Death Star is a mighty battle station but it would be extremely costly to construct to scale in reality. The "pocket battleship" once carried heavy armament while adhering to lighter displacement. I would like to create a pocket-sized Death Star about the size of a tennis ball that I can use to painfully zap people I don't like in my vicinity. This low-powered, fun-size version of the Imperial battle station would fly out of my jacket pocket and use its non-lethal superlaser to scare the bejeezus out of anyone who triggers an alert on my baloney detector. Solar-powered pants would provide the energy source to make it go. It would also impress chicks that I'm checking out with my X-ray glasses.
I'd be willing to fund any and all of these inventions if a startup will grant me 100% equity and pay me all of the licensing income in perpetuity. I want someone else to do all of the work so I can take all of the reward. That's the American way and I'm all about pursuing my American dream. My technological mastery will make me overlord of all the induhviduals who stand in my way.
Solar-powered pants. I watched one guy charge up his smartphone by plugging into an outlet on a Muni train. If he had worn solar-powered pants he could have just plugged it into his . . . well, you get the picture. The size of this market is huge. Dude, everybody wears pants.
Baloney detector. I could have used this one while I was involved with military veterans' groups for a couple of years. It would have to look and work like a Star Trek tricorder so I could detect a range of scams, schemes, lies, and half-truths. It would also need modulation to differentiate between mild shades of embellishment and flat-out fabrications.
X-ray glasses. I'm not talking about the gag version of X-Ray Specs you can buy on eBay for a nickel. I'm talking about the real thing that will allow me to see into women's locker rooms and through the attire of the hot chicks I meet at business conferences. The ideal configuration would be an app that enables Google Glass to assess my momentary dream gal's measurements. Plug this thing into solar-powered pants and I'd be "energized" in more ways than one, if you know what I mean (and I think you do).
Pocket Death Star. The Death Star is a mighty battle station but it would be extremely costly to construct to scale in reality. The "pocket battleship" once carried heavy armament while adhering to lighter displacement. I would like to create a pocket-sized Death Star about the size of a tennis ball that I can use to painfully zap people I don't like in my vicinity. This low-powered, fun-size version of the Imperial battle station would fly out of my jacket pocket and use its non-lethal superlaser to scare the bejeezus out of anyone who triggers an alert on my baloney detector. Solar-powered pants would provide the energy source to make it go. It would also impress chicks that I'm checking out with my X-ray glasses.
I'd be willing to fund any and all of these inventions if a startup will grant me 100% equity and pay me all of the licensing income in perpetuity. I want someone else to do all of the work so I can take all of the reward. That's the American way and I'm all about pursuing my American dream. My technological mastery will make me overlord of all the induhviduals who stand in my way.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
Pet Peeves Against Attendees at Intellectual Events in San Francisco
My regular readers know that I routinely attend events at the World Affairs Council and Commonwealth Club here in San Francisco. I get plenty of genius material there but other attendees do things that annoy me to no end. I have a hard time accepting that so many smart people can do so many dumb things. I chalk it up to the self-absorption of at least two generations reared on the primacy of "self-esteem." This stupid sentiment has obliterated common sense and basic standards of conduct in the name of immature self-actualization.
Fear not, San Francisco. Alfidi Capital has a solution to all social ailments, provided free of charge thanks to my enormous generosity and concern for the human condition. Here are some areas where Bay Area intellectuals need to pay more attention when they're out enriching their minds at high-end venues.
Canine companions. Dogs are cute and I pet them when I see them. They do not belong in intellectual seminars. First of all, they can't comprehend English and don't possess advanced degrees, so they can't benefit from listening to experts. Sarcasm aside, they bark during lectures no matter how well-behaved their owners think they are, so they disrupt important discussion points. None of the dogs I've seen at these lectures are service dogs in harnesses that guide disabled people; they're just pets out for a walk. People need to leave their pets at home, or else find them a home where they won't be owned by an inconsiderate nitwit.
Drinks in containers. I've never understood the phenomenon of the last decade or so where urban dwellers need to drag a bottle of water, coffee, green tea with pomegranate and aloe additives, or some other liquid encumbrance with them everywhere they go. It's bad enough to be in line behind these people on a bus or trolley while they fumble for change with one hand and hang onto their sports bottle with the other. Now I have to deal with them in club lectures where they kick over their bottles and stain carpets. People, drink something at home or at the cafe before you come to the lecture.
Cell phones. Turn them off before hand, for crying out loud. That's what the hosts always tell us to do but intellectuals with expensive educations sometimes have difficulty following simple instructions.
Grandstanding. This is something that happens all the time at the Commonwealth Club. The panel opens up for audience Q&A and invariably an attention-starved loudmouth will preface a question with a long-winded diatribe about their background working with some precious non-profit. This tends to happen at the environment and energy events because the closet socialists (excuse me, professional activists) around town are pathologically unable to refrain from pushing their agendas. Hey idiots, just because you feel passionately about taxing the 1% just to save your favorite single-celled amoeba doesn't mean you deserve a seat at the table with real experts. Quit hogging air time. Ask your question and then shut your fat mouth so other people can get their questions answered.
I hereby request that my fellow intellectuals in The City grow the heck up and make life more pleasant during public lectures. If any of you overeducated ding-dongs are confused about how to behave properly at intellectual events, just follow my example. I don't bring animals into lectures they won't understand. If I need a drink, I head out afterwards to a bar where the hot women of this town await my attention. I turn off my cell phone before the event begins, because my high-powered contacts can wait until I'm done. I sit quietly and usually take notes, because genius lectures deserve praise on a genius blog like mine. I ask a question without introducing myself or proclaiming my agenda, and then I sit down. San Franciscans need to use more common sense while out in public. That's a tall order but it's part of my lifelong one-person war against stupidity.
Fear not, San Francisco. Alfidi Capital has a solution to all social ailments, provided free of charge thanks to my enormous generosity and concern for the human condition. Here are some areas where Bay Area intellectuals need to pay more attention when they're out enriching their minds at high-end venues.
Canine companions. Dogs are cute and I pet them when I see them. They do not belong in intellectual seminars. First of all, they can't comprehend English and don't possess advanced degrees, so they can't benefit from listening to experts. Sarcasm aside, they bark during lectures no matter how well-behaved their owners think they are, so they disrupt important discussion points. None of the dogs I've seen at these lectures are service dogs in harnesses that guide disabled people; they're just pets out for a walk. People need to leave their pets at home, or else find them a home where they won't be owned by an inconsiderate nitwit.
Drinks in containers. I've never understood the phenomenon of the last decade or so where urban dwellers need to drag a bottle of water, coffee, green tea with pomegranate and aloe additives, or some other liquid encumbrance with them everywhere they go. It's bad enough to be in line behind these people on a bus or trolley while they fumble for change with one hand and hang onto their sports bottle with the other. Now I have to deal with them in club lectures where they kick over their bottles and stain carpets. People, drink something at home or at the cafe before you come to the lecture.
Cell phones. Turn them off before hand, for crying out loud. That's what the hosts always tell us to do but intellectuals with expensive educations sometimes have difficulty following simple instructions.
Grandstanding. This is something that happens all the time at the Commonwealth Club. The panel opens up for audience Q&A and invariably an attention-starved loudmouth will preface a question with a long-winded diatribe about their background working with some precious non-profit. This tends to happen at the environment and energy events because the closet socialists (excuse me, professional activists) around town are pathologically unable to refrain from pushing their agendas. Hey idiots, just because you feel passionately about taxing the 1% just to save your favorite single-celled amoeba doesn't mean you deserve a seat at the table with real experts. Quit hogging air time. Ask your question and then shut your fat mouth so other people can get their questions answered.
I hereby request that my fellow intellectuals in The City grow the heck up and make life more pleasant during public lectures. If any of you overeducated ding-dongs are confused about how to behave properly at intellectual events, just follow my example. I don't bring animals into lectures they won't understand. If I need a drink, I head out afterwards to a bar where the hot women of this town await my attention. I turn off my cell phone before the event begins, because my high-powered contacts can wait until I'm done. I sit quietly and usually take notes, because genius lectures deserve praise on a genius blog like mine. I ask a question without introducing myself or proclaiming my agenda, and then I sit down. San Franciscans need to use more common sense while out in public. That's a tall order but it's part of my lifelong one-person war against stupidity.
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