Monday, June 29, 2015

Financial Sarcasm Roundup for 06/29/15

Wherever there is hope, there is also sarcasm.  A place without hope is the realm of despair, but it can also make room for sarcasm.

Greece walked away from Europe's debt deal.  The Tsipras administration threw down a gauntlet and threw the world's financial markets into turmoil.  Athens has no money, no plan, and no hope.  Many Greeks will have trouble paying everyday bills while their banks are closed for a week, or longer.  The new drachma printing presses may already be plugged in somewhere and ready to run hot.  Once they do, and the new drachma hyperinflates, Greeks will have a hard time paying the electric bill to light the Parthenon at night.

China's stock market is crashing.  The PBOC thinks cutting interest rates will prop up stock prices.  The language they use is even more blatant than what the Federal Reserve says to justify monetary stimulus.  China's hard landing will be even harder than the one due for US markets.  The Chinese stockbrokers who will soon be unemployed can all go live in one of those empty ghost cities springing up outside Beijing.  There's plenty of room.

Puerto Rico cannot pay its debts.  A whole bunch of US investors fell in love with the "triple tax free" narrative when their financial advisers sold them Puerto Rican bonds.  Now they have the pleasure of opening their brokerage statements to see verbiage like "bond in default, payments in arrears" for the foreseeable future.  Way to go, wealth management firms.

All this talk of financial trouble in Greece, China, and Puerto Rico makes me want to hunt for bargains.  Here's a thought.  I'll go to my nearest imported grocery store and load up on discounted pita bread, shrimp dumplings, and plantains.  I even have a name for the meal I could make . . the Black Swan Feast.  Get it?  A bunch of financial black swans are coming home to roost.  It calls for a culinary celebration, because I've been waiting for this opportunity to go short and then buy bargain assets all of my life.

San Francisco still keeps me entertained throughout this financial trouble.  A couple of useful idiots brandished their support for anti-Israel boycotts at the Commonwealth Club tonight.  One of them was a hot babe, and I thought it was a shame to waste such a lame brain on such a gorgeous body.  Give me a hot nerdy babe any day who can think for herself.  I'm certain they inhabit the Commonwealth Club.