Monday, September 23, 2013

Financial Sarcasm Roundup for 09/23/13

This should add some flair to the finance sector.  I know for a fact that the wealth management brokerage where I once worked would have been more intelligent if cats and dogs were running that show.

Greece and its lenders have agreed to falsify a budget surplus.  Calculating a budget surplus before paying interest reminds me of the '90s era dot-coms who claimed they were profitable based on EBITDA.  It's fiction, people!  They're even going to falsify a joint economic growth forecast.  The creditors and government officials who are party to this chicanery are committing frauds against the taxpayers of Germany and other European countries backstopping the troika bailout.  This is infuriating to watch!  Just imagine the Federal Reserve dollar swap lines underpinning the European troika bailout and how the never-ending Greek mountain of baloney piling up will eventually trigger their activation.  Is it now obvious to everyone why I'm bearish on the euro?!

Give credit to Ireland for not following the Greek example.  The Irish are sticking to austerity and Moody's upgraded its sovereign debt rating.  Maybe Irish whiskey doesn't rot the brain as thoroughly as Greek ouzo.  If they keep it up we can remove Ireland from the PIIGS acronym and just focus on the other four hair triggers of European insolvency.

US mortgage lenders are going for the subprime market again.  They're just not using that label.  I soon expect lenders to start accepting piles of manure as collateral.  This is the end result of the Fed buying all the GSE-backed mortgage paper in sight.  Banks will once again stretch for riskier income because the Fed creates moral hazard by absolving them of risk.

Washington is playing games with the nation's credit rating again.  It may come to nothing if regulatory threats against the rating agencies frighten them into inaction.  The markets won't be fooled for long.  The change to the GDP calculation won't fool future historians.

Enjoy this stuff, folks.  I put all of twenty minutes into making this so you'd better appreciate my hard work.  Expect a lot more of this stuff in the future from Alfidi Capital.  Finance makes me LOL.