I give thanks for not living in some smelly dirt-hole country like the ones at the bottom of the Transparency International and Heritage Foundation indexes. Those are the filters I use to sort out the resource sector companies I evaluate, much as a master chef uses a strainer to drain the brine away from a pot of pasta.
I suppose I should be thankful for living in San Francisco but sometimes this town does try my patience. The idiots I see at the Commonwealth Club disprove the common assumption that education enhances intellect. The views of the Pacific Ocean, downtown skyscrapers, and the Golden Gate Bridge make up for the periodic nonsense emanating from over-educated humans.
I am not thankful for activists determined to make all levels of our government less responsive to citizens and more of a burden upon the economy. This goes for both the Left and Right. Busybodies can take their health insurance mandates, sunset-exempt regulations, and faith-based initiatives to one of those loser countries at the bottom of the Transparency International and Heritage Foundation indexes. People who enjoy living in unfree nations are welcome to move away from me. I would be thankful for their absence.
The University of Notre Dame and University of San Francisco do not deserve my thanks. I have degrees from each of those schools and those parchments have never helped me in life. Several fellow alumni have gone out of their way to harm me professionally because I have spoken negatively about the schools in public. I couldn't care less. I remain unscathed. Bring it on, haters. I will outlast all of my detractors.
I continue to thank myself for cutting off relations with people who turned out to be losers. Former acquaintances who revealed themselves as idiots were putting me at risk with their drama. I sometimes see them in public and I have reminded myself to keep them at a distance so I'm not infected by their insanity. Yes, fellow members of the financial services community, I mean you in particular. Craziness is contagious in San Francisco and I don't need to catch it.
You should all be thankful that I am the greatest financial analyst you've ever read. Don't waste your lives trying to outperform me because that's impossible. Spend your time wisely, basking in the glow of my eternal wisdom. Women in particular should be thankful that I am so extremely handsome. They usually find me irresistible but they will have to wait until after Thanksgiving. They can send me hot photos of themselves to tide me over until we meet in person. That would make for a very happy Thanksgiving.