Here are some even more unrealistic assumptions YRCW can figure into its turnaround plan.
- They can buy unicorns to haul freight. I hear they're cheaper than trucks and less trouble to maintain provided Teamsters clean up after them.
- They can relocate their trucking centers to the Moon. Lower gravity means trucks can carry more mass and even get away with more height with no restrictions.
- They can fire their Teamster workforce and hire brand new high school graduates in their place. Their labor costs will be lower and the I.Q. of the workforce will skyrocket.
None of the above ideas are on the table in the YRCW boardroom but that's okay. The stock is going to massively dilute this month anyway and nothing can stop it.
Full disclosure: No position in YRCW. No unicorns were harmed in the creation of this blog post.