Saturday, April 02, 2011

Goldman Sachs CEO Makes $14 Million More Than You

What financial services CEOs do to "earn" their ginormous compensation packages is beyond the comprehension of mere mortals.  Only those who already live on mount Olympus can truly understand the lives of fellow Olympians.  The CEO of Goldman Sachs, for example, is no garden variety globetrotter.  This titan absolutely must make at least eight figures per year, with much more waiting for him in deferred compensation, or else he won't be motivated to do whatever it is that he does. 

It takes a great deal of focus, stamina, and business acumen to keep those proprietary hedge funds churning their books several trillion times per day.  That can be exhausting just to watch, so imagine how tuckered out it makes the poor CEO who has to engineer the whole thing.  One can only marvel at the superhuman abilities of CEOs who manage to squeeze billion-dollar deals in between golf rounds and martinis.

Here's a personal note to Goldman's board.  I'll do the same amount of work for one-tenth what it's costing you to pay the current guy to run around Davos and Jackson Hole.  Feel free to fire me after a year if I can't deliver the exact same results.  You know where to reach me.